Children and Parents

“Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. ‘Honor your father and mother’—which is the first commandment with a promise—‘that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.’ Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:1-4, NIV).

To be parents is one of the most sacred duties God assigned to humankind. To Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden God said, “Be fruitful and increase in number…” (Genesis 1:28). With the privilege of parenthood comes also responsibility. Parents are to “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it” (Proverbs 22:6). From an early age, children are to be kindly but firmly disciplined by parents who are consistent and in agreement about how they will rear their children. Paul reminded children that obedience and honor are due to parents, and with that respect for parents comes the promise of long life and well being for the children, the promise contained with the fifth commandment (see Exodus 20:12 and Deuteronomy 5:16).

Then parents—especially fathers, as Paul was writing in an age when precedence was given to the male-led household—are not to “exasperate” or trouble their children but deal with them in a loving and disciplinary manner that will be according to the “instruction of the Lord.” A large order, indeed! “Training” is from the Greek word paideia which denotes personal guidance, example, instruction and discipline. Fathers, who should have the major role in leading a family, should not incite their children to anger, frustration and fear but lovingly guide them by God’s precepts.

Paul gives the ideal patterns for children and parents in Ephesians 6:1-4. But what if that pattern is not found enough in our modern-day society? What if fathers have abandoned their role as leader of the home? What if mothers must work to make a living as well as care for and nurture children? What if both parents are absent and elderly grandparents, foster parents or the state must then assume responsibility for children? Unfortunately, these are conditions of the days in which we live. Sometimes the church and caring teachers can make a difference and spark hope within children. Those of us who know the ideal position of the home can have influence through example, prayer, instruction and admonition to bring about a change in family life and in child rearing. Let us pray for and work toward the “right” way to have responsible family relationships. Our future social hope depends on it.

c Ethelene Dyer Jones; Thursday, June 24, 2010