Controlling the Tongue

“A soft answer turns away wrath, But a harsh word stirs up anger. The tongue of the wise uses knowledge rightly, But the mouth of fools pours forth foolishness. The eyes of the Lord are in every place, Keeping watch on the evil and the good. A wholesome tongue is a tree of life, But perverseness in it breaks the spirit. A fool despises his father’s instruction, But he who receives reproof is prudent” (Proverbs 15:1-5, NKJV).

Words roll from our tongues like waves flowing in from high tide—that is, if we are not too shy to speak. Most of us are ready with words and sometimes we do not give adequate thought to what we say or how we say it. The sage who compiled the Proverbs and many wise persons before and since have taught us the importance of controlling the tongue. James, writing in the New Testament, recognizing that the toungue is “a small member” yet, untamed, can wreak havoc, stated: “But no man can tame the tongue. It is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison. With it we bless our God and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in the similitude of God. Out of the same mouth proceed blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be so” (James 3:8-10 NKJV). I find it interesting that in the context of teaching about the power of the tongue and the importance of a son receiving his father’s wise instruction, is the strong statement: “The eyes of the Lord are in every place, Keeping watch on the evil and the good” (Proverbs 15:3). I remember that I was taught as a child that God is every place observing what we say and what we do. My Sunday School teachers at my country church were strong on this point. So were my parents as they tried to bring me up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. And they taught, too, that what I spoke and how I said my words made a great difference to those who heard me. Even with this good instruction, it was not always easy to control the tongue; nor is it, even now.

We hear so many words: television blares forth words; we listen or not, as we will. Leaders of our government make promises, sometimes without substance. We hear instruction at church from teachers and ministers; again we hear and heed, or we allow the instruction to pass unheeded. And we ourselves talk, sometimes without first thinking about what we say. Talk is cheap or it bears weight, whichever value we choose for the work of our tongue. Good communication is at the heart of good human relationships. Language communicates both our intellect and our emotions.

From the heart we speak, and the sage gave instruction about that, too: “Keep thy heart with all diligence, for out of it are the issues of life” (Proverbs 4:23). For today, could we begin the practice of giving a soft answer, of speaking the truth in love, of controlling the tongue, that small member of our body with such weighty influence? It might be hard, but with God’s watchfulness over the tongue, it is possible to wield a good influence, even in what we speak.

c Ethelene Dyer Jones, Tuesday, July 13, 2010