Guard Against Self-Praise

“Let another man praise you, and not your own mouth; A stranger, and not your own lips. As in water face reveals face, So a man’s heart reveals the man. The refining pot is for silver and the furnace for gold, And a man is valued by what others say of him." (Proverbs 27:2, 19, 21, NKJV).

All of us at times, unless we guard against it with diligence, like to boast about what we do or what members of our family do and have become. I will admit that I am guilty of this, and often catch myself having to back away from too much boasting. The writer of Proverbs warned that self-praise is anathema, or a curse to the one who practices it. If there is good to be said of us, let it be said by others. Disregard the old saw, “If one does not toot his own horn, it shall not be tooted.” A braggart is seldom taken seriously by those who listen to him.

Moreover, just as we learned the Greek myth of Narcissus who looked into the water and pined so much to see his own reflection that he was turned into a flower, we should guard against egocentrism. When we, like silver and gold, are refined in the crucible of life and develop good character, we will not need to applaud our own worthiness. Others will take notice of genuineness in a person and comment on it. And we should remember, too, that we are not what we are to give self-praise; neither are our deeds to be paraded for self-glorification. Humility and giving credit to God are marks of true Christian character.

Of course there are times when we need to tell about our own accomplishments. Maybe you are seeking a job and need to submit a resume. This is an opportunity to give your preparation for the job you seek. You give your training and experience. You give your philosophy of work and why you think you are qualified to assume the job for which you apply. A resume, even though it is in a sense a “self-praise” document, should be honest and straightforward, not padded and expanded. The persons you give as references (with their permission, of course) will be the ones to certify your resume and express their opinion about your character, work and aptitudes for the job. We should face honestly any words about ourselves. If training, experience and action cannot substantiate the information about ourselves, we should never give it. In presenting ourselves to others, an adage comes to mind: “What you see is what you get.” And another closely related is “What you do speaks so loudly I cannot hear what you say.” If another praises you falsely, with too much emphasis on qualities that are questionable, gently correct the errors. Humility and honesty go farther in assessing character than claiming self-importance.

c Ethelene Dyer Jones; Friday, July 30, 2010