Honor Your Father and Mother

“Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord your God is giving you.” (Exodus 20:12, NKJV).

The first four commands concerned man’s relationship to God, or what scholars sometimes call the vertical dimensions of the covenant. The last six, commandments, five through ten, have to do with relationships among people, or the horizontal dimensions of the covenant. The fifth commandment, “Honor thy father and thy mother” (KJV) is usually considered to be children’s attitudes toward and relationship with parents. But inherent in the commandment is also society’s regard for elders, and well-ordered family life. The commandment includes not only respect, honor and care for parents, but also proper regard toward and care for elderly people within the community.

In many societies, when people became old and useless, they were sent out to die. Jesus condemned the religious leaders of his day for the practice of “Corban,”—that is, having dedicated to God a portion of their resources so that they could evade the important responsibility of caring for parents (Mark 7:9-13). Paul reminded Christians that this commandment is the first with a promise (see Ephesians 6:2). The reward for responsible care and respect of parents is longevity “in the land which the Lord…is giving you.” This is not so much long life for the children who so honor their parents (although this may be so). Rather, it promises longevity and stability for a community or nation that has built into its laws due respect and care for its senior citizens. Also wrapped within the commandment are the expectations that parents bring up children in a responsible manner. A strong commitment is involved to the members within a family—parents to children, children to parents. Written into this commandment of honoring parents is the foundation for a stable and enduring society.

I grew up in a community which took this commandment seriously. I was brought up to respect, obey and honor parents and grandparents. Both by precept and example, I sought to instill this love and respect for parents and elderly in my own children and grandchildren. The result has been a close bonding of family—extending to the larger family of cousins and other relatives. I recall an incident from my later teen-age years that made a strong impression on me. I was a charter student at Truett McConnell College, and often went to churches to speak on behalf of the college. I was with my pastor, a trustee of the college, and his wife, from Fairburn, GA where I had, with him, spoken about the new college. Returning, we approached Atlanta and saw the gold dome of our state capitol shining in the late afternoon sun. Rev. Claude Boynton said (in essence): “To see the dome of the capitol tells us that this is the seat of state government. But I say, even stronger than the government of any state or any land are the homes within that government entity. You have heard it said, ‘The hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world.’ Our state and nation can be no stronger than the strength of its families. In the years that lie ahead, family values will be diminished in America. That will begin a sad decline in the fabric of our free country. We cannot get away from God’s way concerning families: “Honor your father and your mother,that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord your God is giving you.’ ”

As I thought often about that “teachable moment” when I traveled with my beloved pastor and his wife, and how he used a visual representation of the state capitol’s dome to relate to the fifth commandment and its importance, I knew that he was helping to prepare me for my eventual role as a responsible citizen and parent. We honor our own parents and our upbringing by the lives we live, for we “reflect on our raising,” as our mountain vernacular states. Today, thank God for godly parents and their influence and, if you are a parent or grandparent, for the privilege entrusted to you to rear children in the way they should go.

c Ethelene Dyer Jones; Monday, August 9, 2010